


Kids these days

by boy101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 trope, Adoption, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, only a lil bit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boy101/pseuds/boy101
Summary: Five times Oikawa longs for a child and a family and one time he doesn't have to just long for it anymore





	

  

_1\. Seventeen_

 

“Oikawa-kun! It’s so nice to see you here.” Narukami-san smiled at him as she bounced her two year old on her hip.

“It’s nice seeing you, too. You know how much I love working with the kids.” Oikawa answered, smiling back.

“Of course, and you’ve always been so good at it! Yusuke is always so happy when he comes home from practise and you’ve been here, and I know he isn’t the only kid here to idolise you.”

“Oh Narukami-san, you flatter me.”

“Psht, not at all! And oh! Is that Iwaizumi-kun I see over there?”

Oikawa turned his head around to look behind him. “It is!” He said happily. “He said he’d come today, but you never know.”

“Yo, Oikawa. Sorry I’m a bit late.” Iwaizumi said as he walked up to stand next to Oikawa. “Hello, Narukami-san.” He added with a small bow.

“Hello Iwaizumi-kun! I’ve seen a lot more of both of you here lately, is school going too easy on you?” She joked with a laugh. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi winced a little. The truth was that now that they didn’t have practise to go to themselves they had a lot more spare time to spend teaching volleyball to kids, a blessing in disguise of sorts, but it was still a sensitive topic.

Just as Oikawa was about to answer, the toddler in Narukami-san’s arms started stirring and putting his small hands up to her face, obviously feeling he’d been ignored for too long. Narukami-san chuckled and started talking in a baby voice to her child and nodding apologetically towards the two of them, cutting the conversation short. Oikawa was a little relieved he didn’t have to answer.

“Well, we better head into the gym then Iwa-chan! Wouldn’t look good if the help trainers were late now would it?” Oikawa said to his friend who in turn rolled his eyes but followed him inside the gym without commenting.

The class went well. The coach was happy to see both Oikawa and Iwaizumi was there and they could split the kids up into three smaller groups, all practising what that group decided on. Oikawa smiled to himself. He remembers being a kid and practise being more about fun and less about drills, he was happy to be there to experience it again. Everything went smoothly other than Takeru pouting for five minutes straight when he ended up in the group Oikawa was leading rather than Iwaizumi’s. It was resolved by Yusuke-kun offering to switch with Takeru, making Narukami-san who was sitting on a bench to the side together with a few other moms laugh and mouth ‘I told you so’ to Oikawa.

About halfway through class Oikawa went to the bench where the moms were sitting. “Hello.” He smiled his most charming smile. “I hate to ask you to move but do you think you could all sit in the stands for a while? We were planning on playing a game, I’d hate it if any stray volleyballs were to hit anyone. Not that your kids aren’t all world class volleyball players already of course.” He said, winking. The moms all laughed and agreed.

As he was talking Ken - Narukami-san’s two year old - had reached out to Oikawa who had let him wrap his entire hand around one of his fingers. As Narukami-san stood up to leave and tried to disentangle her son’s hand from Oikawa the two year old started crying. Oikawa could feel his heart breaking a little.

“Oh Oikawa-kun I’m so sorry! I’ll step out for a while, don’t worry we won’t disturb practise!” Narukami-san said, looking flustered.

“No no no don’t worry about it! Here let me…” He said, reaching out towards Ken to take him in his arms, Narukami-san let him. Ken immediately quieted down. “There, you just want to play volleyball with the big guys don’t you?” Oikawa said, talking to Ken who nodded eagerly.

“Bollyboll!” He laughed, a few stray tears still lingering in his eyelashes. Oikawa chuckled with him, he had a soft spot for kids and especially kids who liked volleyball.

“How about this Ken-chan, you ask your mom if it’s OK if you stay down here with me and you and I can judge the game together, yeah?”

Ken kept nodding enthusiastically and turned in Oikawa’s arms to face his mom again. “Mom! You can leave now!” He said with a big smile on his face, making his mom laugh.

“You sure Oikawa-kun?”

“Of course! Don’t worry about it, Ken-chan and I are going to be the best judges this gym has ever seen, right Ken-chan?”

“Yes! The best judge!” Ken giggled.

“OK then, I’ll be up in the stands with the other moms then. Behave for Oikawa-kun, Ken.” And with that she was out the door just to appear in the stands a few seconds later.  

Oikawa smiled down at the child in his arms before putting him down and telling him to go tell the others that the match was going to start. Ken ran off on his short chubby legs to pull his brother’s shorts and tell him to start playing already. As Oikawa watched Iwaizumi walked up next to him. “I can’t believe kids like you.”

Oikawa gasped. “Of course they like me! Everyone likes me!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“You’re just bitter that the only kids who likes you do it to spite me.” Oikawa said, looking pointedly at Takeru. Iwaizumi just laughed before going off to coach one of the teams, the regular coach taking the other team and Oikawa and Ken acting as judges.

Practise ended without any more disturbances - other than Ken falling over and crying a little before Oikawa picked him up and told him his scraped knee made him look like a real volleyball player, effectively turning Ken’s pout into a beaming smile.

“Will you be back next week, Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san?” Yusuke asked as he took a swig from his water bottle. His team had lost but he was never the type to be too upset by loses.

“We’ll see, we’ll try to make it.” Iwaizumi said, ruffling Yusuke’s hair. Both Yusuke and Oikawa smiled wide. Oikawa couldn’t help but feel warm inside every time he was reminded that Iwaizumi was actually really good with kids too. He stopped himself before his thoughts could drift, why it mattered that Iwaizumi was good with kids was something he promised himself to bury deep inside his mind.

“And I was so worried he’d never fall asleep with all that excitement” Narukami-san said as she walked up behind them. She looked fondly at Ken who was now falling asleep in Oikawa’s arms, his excitement had turned into sleepiness as soon as the noise around him had started dying down. “You’re really good with kids, Oikawa-kun. You’re going to make an amazing dad some day. Almost makes me wish I had a daughter your age.” She joked as she picked up her son from his arms.

“Yeah. I’d love to be a dad one day.” Oikawa said with a huge fake smile, hoping it disguised the way he could feel his stomach sink to the floor. Narukami-san smiled back, clearly not seeing the sharp edge his smile had taken. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Iwaizumi’s face turn into a scowl he knew meant he was worried but he didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t want to explain it, not yet at least.

 

*******

 

_2\. Nineteen_

 

“OK your turn!” Oikawa giggled from where he was sat at one end of the couch. Iwaizumi’s admitting that maybe - just maybe! - his first crush was the really old weather presenter on TV from when they were kids because she’d predicted it’d be sunny on his fifth birthday made it hard to stop laughing.

“Why do you need me to ask every time? It’s always the same question. And you always answer the same thing” He tried to scowl but forgot his mouth was still turned upwards in a smile.

“Because! It’s the rules!”

“Fine then... Truth or dare?”

“Hmmmmm… Truth!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, as if Oikawa would ever choose anything else. “Actually…” Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa. “Actually this is a bit more serious than the previous questions, that OK?”

“Yeah, sure! Whatever you want Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said, feeling a little nervous as to what to come if Iwaizumi felt he needed to ask that beforehand.

“Why do you always look so sad when someone tells you you’d be a good dad?”

“Oh… That.” Oikawa said, the smile on his lips dying immediately as he brought his knees up to his chest. He knew he’d have to tell people, Iwaizumi especially, at some point. He’d just hoped it’d be later rather than sooner.

“Are you sterile or something?” Iwaizumi said, trying to joke but looking like he regretted saying anything the second it was out.

Oikawa gave a weak half smile. “No that’s not… Not as far as I’m aware at least. It wouldn’t matter even if I was though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love kids, and I really want to be a dad some day, I just can’t.” He stared at the wall away from Iwaizumi, not wanting to look him in the eyes just incase he took it badly. He didn’t think he would, but there was always that lingering doubt in the back of his mind.

“Wait, why not? Is this some confidence issue? Because I swear Shittykawa you’d be an amazing dad, don’t you dare think anything else.”

“No that’s not it either.” He chuckled bitterly. “I can’t have kids because neither biology nor the law allows it.” He wanted to avoid saying _it_ out loud for as long as possible.

“Oh.” Was all Iwaizumi said. His tone didn’t give anything away.

“Yeah.” Oikawa sighed.

“So you’re gay, then.”

 _Well, there goes not wanting to have_ it _said out loud,_ he thought. “Yeah.” He sighed again.

It was quiet for a while. Iwaizumi didn’t get up to leave at least, Oikawa hoped that meant he took it OK. After a while Iwaizumi took a breath to speak, Oikawa tensed up feeling like a man waiting to find out if he’d be spending the rest of his life in prison. “The law won’t stay this way forever, and there’s always other countries. I don’t think you should give up on having a kid some day.” He said.

Oikawa’s head flew up from where it’d been placed on his knees so he could meet his friends eye. Iwaizumi looked back at him with a gently smile on his face and Oikawa felt like he’d star crying any second. “Thank you…” He managed to get out before his throat clogged up. Iwaizumi reached forward and pulled him into a hug.

A bit of shuffling was required before they settled into a comfortable position on the couch with Oikawa laying across Iwazumi’s chest. Iwaizumi’s arms were wrapped around Oikawa’s waist as Oikawa cried into his friend’s neck, finally allowing himself to feel all the things he’d repressed for years.  

Iwaizumi stroked his friend’s back and let him cry. He didn’t hush him or tell him it’d be OK, he just stayed there. After a while when Oikawa had calmed down Iwazumi asked if he wanted to talk more about it and he did.

He had so much to say. So many thoughts he’d never even dared write down on paper just in case someone would happen to see it. Thoughts about his parents being disappointed, thoughts about how he just wanted to be able to like someone and confess without being scared out of his mind, thoughts about never being able to have the extravagant wedding he’d always wanted, thought about never being able to have kids. He talked about it all, only leaving out the small detail that was Iwaizumi’s role in all of this. Iwaizumi being the one he confessed to, Iwaizumi standing across from him at the altar, Iwaizumi holding their kid for the first time.

After saying everything he could think about, almost crying over and over again, he quieted down and buried his face in his friend’s neck once again. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything for a few seconds, seemingly thinking it over. After a while he said “I know how you feel, sort of. I’m bi, so like… there’s always a chance I might end up with a girl but, I understand the fear of never being able to do all those things with the person you love.”

Oikawa gulped, trying desperately to squish down and put out the tiny bit of hope that had flared up in the back of his mind. He didn’t know what to answer but luckily Iwaizumi spoke up again before the silence could get too heavy. “I really believe what I said earlier though. The law won’t stay like this forever. Too many countries have changed their laws already for Japan to not be pretty close too.”

Oikawa hummed. He hoped Iwaizumi was right.

The subject had been dropped after that. Neither talked about it again for months. Not until Iwaizumi came home to their shared apartment, drunk off his ass, almost six months later and confessed through tired tears and curses. Oikawa remembers it as the sweetest words the world had to offer.

 

*******

 

_3.Twenty four_

 

“Hajime? Can I talk to you about something?” Oikawa asked from across the dining room table, one of his feet lazily playing with his boyfriend of five years’.

“‘Course. You alright?” Hajime said, looking up from his rice.

“Yeah, I’m alright. I just need to talk to you about something.” He took a deep breath, not because he was scared Hajime would react badly, but because he wanted to make sure his thoughts were in order. “I want a kid. Not right now, but in a few years at least.”

“I know.” Hajime said with a concerned frown. That Tooru wanted a child more than anything was no secret. Unfortunately neither was the fact that it wasn’t possible with how Japan’s laws looked.

“I just mean that I think we should look into it. There must be someway, even if it’s not in Japan. I’m not saying we should move to some distant country, but maybe we could just do the whole adopting thing somewhere else and then live here?” Tooru said, he didn’t sound too hopeful himself but Hajime recognised the look in his eyes. It was the same look he always got when he’d made up his mind about something, no matter how difficult.

“OK, let me finish eating and we’ll sit down and look at it right after.”

“Wait, really? Just like that?”

“Yeah? What you think I don’t want kids with you?” Hajime asked, confused.

“No, that’s not what I… I mean I honestly just sort of assumed, even if it does feel great to hear you say that outloud, I just thought you’d say stuff like ‘we’re too young’ and ‘don’t stress about it, of course the law will change’” He shrugged but there was relief behind it.

“Well… I still think both of those things are true, but this stuff can take years so the earlier we start the better, right?”

Tooru smiled wide. “Right!”

They ended up on their old couch, Hajime’s laptop in his lap and Tooru sitting pressed against his side. They stayed like that for hours. The laptop going back and forth between the two of them as the google searches got more and more far fetched.

They read forum upon forum, both finding comfort and despairing in the fact that they were far from the only couple in their current situation. “So this is going nowhere quickly.” Tooru sighed. Maybe quickly wasn’t entirely accurate as they’d been sitting on the couch for hours, but nowhere was definitely where it was going.

Tooru leaned his head on Hajime’s shoulder and sighed again. He didn’t know what else to do. He wasn’t giving up, but he was running out of steam and ideas.

Hajime put his arm around him. “Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, maybe going overseas isn’t the way to go, there must be loopholes we can exploit at home, right?” Hajime said as he started playing with the hair at the nape of Tooru’s neck.

“You think?”

“Honestly? I have no idea, but it’s worth looking into.” He yawned. “Not right now though, but tomorrow. I know we said we’d take a weekend to just do nothing, but a little bit of plans won’t hurt.”

Tooru smiled. “Yeah, sounds good.” He was trying very hard to stay positive. Staying determined wasn’t a problem, he was ready to fight for a family of his own with everything he had, but realising he actually might have to do just that was a little disheartening.

The next two days weren’t much better. Tooru figured he must have sighed more in just one weekend than he usually would in a year.

“So let me get this straight,” Hajima said, they were cuddling on the couch once again, the laptop sitting shut on the coffee table.

Tooru snorted, he hadn’t slept much and it was late - he couldn’t help it. “Ironic word use.”

“Shut up,” Hajime said, rolling his eyes but sounding a little amused nonetheless. “Anyway, so our only real options are one of us knocking someone up or being a godparent to a kid whose parents die.”

“Hetrosexual sex or the death of close friends, those both sound equally horrible.” Oikawa tried to joke. He felt his heart turn cold and heavy at having to look at the truth head on, no unrealistic optimism or false but encouraging hope disguising it.

“I’m so sorry, Tooru. We’ll figure it  out, I promise.” Hajime said, seeing right through Tooru’s ‘I’m fine’ charade. They both tightened their hold around each other, allowing themselves to just be sad for a moment.

“This sucks.” Tooru murmured into Hajime’s hair.

“Yeah. It does.” Hajime answered. “But we’ll keep looking, we’ll figure it out. We’re only twenty four, we’ve got at least fifteen years, probably more. And there’s a really good chance the law will have changed by then, it won’t always have to be this hard.”

“I hope you’re right. I _really_ really hope you’re right.”

“Me too.”

They fell asleep like that, limbs tangled together on their too short and too narrow couch.

They both woke up the next day by the alarm on Tooru’s phone, a cheery pop tune they’d both come to hate over the two years it’d woken them up five days of the week.

“Eurgh…” Iwaizumi eloquently put both of their feelings into words.

“I can’t believe we both stayed on the couch all night. You push me out of our double bed but you managed to not do it on a couch? I’m starting to think you just don’t want me in our bed.” Tooru said as he rubbed his eyes and accidentally elbowed Hajime in the process.

“Ouf! Shaddup…” He grumbled in response.

“I’m sorry things are like this right now.” Hajime said as they were both sitting by the table eating breakfast. The light from the window was softly illuminating him from behind, it looked like a halo. Tooru had to take a moment to compose himself. Things sucked, but Hajime was right. They had time and they would figure it out. And even if they didn’t he still had Hajime. Beautiful, supportive, wonderful, incredible Hajime.

“It’s OK. You’re right, it’ll work out. I trust you, I trust us.” Hajime smiled at him and Tooru’s stomach fluttered. He was so so in love with that man.

“Good. I trust us too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

*******

  

_4.Twenty seven_

 

He was sitting on a different couch in a different apartment when all he knew, everything he planned his life after changed. Everything he’d researched and read about three years ago suddenly wasn’t all that existed anymore, wasn’t the entire truth.

The couch and the apartment had been different then, but it had been just as much his and Hajime’s couch and apartment as the ones he was in now. It was a comforting, stabilising thought. So much was different but so much was also the same, and as so many things changed all at once in just an instant it was finally all for the better.

When they’d bought a new apartment it had been mostly good. It was a bigger, newer apartment with three bedrooms and a living room, leaving space for a larger dining table in the kitchen. The location was a little worse than their old apartment though and it had been expensive. _Really_ expensive. The couch had been almost all good. All good if you don’t count the sentimental value the other couch carried - it was the first piece of furniture the two of them had bought together. Throwing it out had been harder than either of them expected.

Of course, when he sat down on the couch that day he hadn’t known things would change for the better. He’d hoped, but he hadn’t known.

Hajime hadn’t wanted to watch the news with him. He’d excused himself to the bedroom-turned-home-office with the excuse that he had work to finish. They both knew the real reason was that he didn’t want to hear it if it turned out to be negative. He’d already experienced that once, he didn’t want to listen to those words ever again.

The first time they’d been twenty five. The news had been positive about it that time as well. Sure the government would pass the law, surely marriage equality was coming to Japan! Anything else was practically impossible. Except it wasn’t. Because the law wasn’t passed. It was close, but it wasn’t close enough. They’d both been devastated, but they hadn’t talked about it. Something about how close it had been and yet it was still just as far away had made it harder than it was before.

That time they’d both been cuddled up on the couch - the old one - eagerly watching the news. This time it was just Tooru sitting on their couch. He had his phone in front of his face and the news turned on in the background, the volume just barely loud enough to be heard. If the result was negative he could just act like he didn’t hear it. It was easier to pretend it never happened like that.

Except in the end it didn’t matter. Every safety precaution they took to protect themselves was in vain. Because the law passed. And they could get married. They could adopt kids. They could do everything a hetrosexual couple could. And he found out with a single sentence from news anchor while he sat alone with his phone in front of his face.

His phone slid from his hands as he stared a the TV. The news anchor talked about how many votes were for and how many were against but he didn’t hear it. Blood was rushing in his ears and tears were falling down his cheeks. He had to take a moment to just register what he’d just heard, “ _The law regarding same sex couple’s marriage rights was passed today in…”_ before he really truly understood what it meant.

“HAJIME!” He shouted, his voice cracking in the middle. “HAJIME!” He shouted again, his voice no less steady.

“What? Oh god are you OK?” Hajime ran towards him as he saw him crying, now sitting in front of the couch, having fallen off it in his surprise. Hajime reached him and enveloped him in a hug. He didn’t look at the TV, still not wanting to see it. “I’m sorry, oh sweetheart I’m so so sorry.”

“No, no Hajime that’s not… I’m not... “ He didn’t know what to say, all his thoughts and sentences getting stuck in his throat. “Hajime it passed!” He said, crying harder than ever.

“Wait? What? Are you serious.”

Tooru nodded into Hajime’s chest, laughing in pure happiness through his tears. “We can get married.”

“Wait a second, I’ll be right back!” Hajime said, disentangling himself from Tooru, leaving him crying and laughing on the floor as he sprinted back into the study. He came back mere seconds later, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks too. “Tooru,” he said as he sat back down on the floor, taking his face in both his hands so he would look up at him. “Tooru, I love you, god I love you so so much.” He said, clearing his throat when it cracked. “And now, now when we finally can…” He trailed off, taking one hand away from Tooru’s face to reach behind himself into his back pocket. He cleared his throat again. “Tooru, will you marry me?” He said, taking his second hand off Tooru’s face as well to open to box he had just picked out of his pocket.

Tooru stared at the open box, a simple silver band with a small stone in the middle staring back at him. Tooru can’t ever remember crying as much as he did in that moment, and it was all in happiness and relief. “Yes! Yesyesyesyes! Of course!” He threw himself at Hajime, making them both fall to the floor in a laughing crying mess of limbs and happiness.

 

“We’re getting married.” Tooru said later that night. They were laying face to face in bed as Tooru held his hand up in front of him looking at the ring on his finger with a giddy and lovestruck smile on his face.

“We are.” Hajime answered with an equally lovestruck expression as he was looking right at his fiancée.

“And we can start a family.”

“We can.”

“And we have time, Hajime we have so much time.” Tooru turned his gaze from the ring to Hajime’s face. He felt seconds away from crying again. “We can take our time. We can plan and have a big wedding before starting the adoption process. We can look for a house, I can get settled in my new job. We can do so much together.”

“We can.” Hajime confirmed, smiling even wider. “And I look forward to it, a lot.”

“Me too. So, so much.”

“Good.” Hajime leaned forward to kiss his fiancée who happily leaned in as well. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Hajime snorted. “Are we really doing this?” Tooru just narrowed his eyes in a playful challenge. “Because I have the rest of our lives to convince you I love you more and if you think I won’t try every single day…” Tooru leaned forward to kiss him again, making him shut up before Tooru actually started crying again.

“Goodnight, Hajime.” He said, his smile not leaving his face for even a second.

“Goodnight, Tooru.”

“Dream of me.”

“I always do.”

 

*******

 

_5\. Twenty nine_

 

“Oh! Hajime how about this one?” Tooru marvelled at the small garment in his hands, holding it up for his husband to see.

“Tooru you're going to have to buy at least one thing that isn't space themed.” Hajime chuckled.

“But Iwa-chan!” Tooru pouted.

“You know,” Hajime smirked, “I've been thinking lately.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and I don't mind that nickname as much now that it applies to you too. So how about it, ready to never hear your full last name again _Iwa-chan?_ ” Hajime asked with a laugh.

Tooru gasped. “I can't believe you're going to use my own words against me!” He exclaimed but his point was undermined by the smile spreading on his face. Hajime just rolled his eyes but smiled back.

“Seriously though, at least get him one t-shirt that doesn't have a Star Wars reference on it. The poor guy’ll be tired of space before he even knows what it is.”

“OK, first of all: you can't get tired of space, there's just too much out there. Second of all: no one really knows what space is and third of all: you just want to buy that bug shirt you've been eyeing since we got here.”

“Sue me.” Hajime shrugged. He looked a little embarrassed to have been caught but swiftly took the bug shirt of the rack and put it in the basket he was carrying.

They kept walking around the store, finally leaving the clothes section after Tooru got the eight or so space-themed onsies he wanted and Hajime got the bug shirt. The section with more practical things - gates to stop the kids from falling down the stairs, various things to put on sharp corners, strollers with seatbelts and cup holders customized especially for McDonalds sodas, etc - made them both slow down.

Tooru walked slowly, dragging his fingers over everything. He stopped by a cardboard cutout of an entire family - a mother, a father and a small child in an automatic cradle rocker that the cutout was advertising. “I can’t believe this is really happening.” He whispered.

“I know. Me neither, honestly.” Hajime said, coming up behind him and putting his arm around his husdband’s waist. “I’m glad it is though.”

Tooru leaned into Hajime, putting his head on his shoulder. “I am too… I really am, but being here now, ‘for the last time’ makes it scary.”

“‘The last time?’”

“You know, like, the last time before he comes home. We have to get everything now.”

“We can always just go back if we find out we've missed something.”

Tooru hummed. “I guess. But it's not… Hajime in less than twenty four hours we’re going to have a son.” He turned his head and nuzzled it into Hajime’s neck, his breath coming out in laboured huffs.

Hajime turned around to envelop Tooru in a proper hug. Tooru just kept his hands in fist against Hajime’s chest.

“We are. And it's going to be amazing and tough and difficult and wonderful and scary and fun and sometimes we're going to have no idea what we're doing and every time we'll figure it out together. You're going to be an incredible dad, Tooru. I promise.”

Tooru clenched his first in Hajime’s shirt and whinced. “There's so much that can go wrong… What if... what if I end up like my own parents. That's a thing that happens to people right? And what if he gets hurt because I forgot to do something or forgot to buy something.” He was at the brink of tears now. He wanted a child so bad but the closer it got the scarier it seemed. Even if it also seemed more breathtakingly wonderful at the same time.

“You're not going to turn out like your own parents. You're going to be supportive and overprotective and lick your thumb to wipe away food from his jaw and you’re never, ever, going to stop talking to him. I won't let you. And Tooru look around, we haven't forgotten anything that major. I mean, we got that,” he pointed to a plastic thing that was put on kitchen isles’ corners. “Got that, got that, got that too, got like three of those, got that…” he kept pointing at things all around them. “We even got that thing over there and I don't even know what that is.”

Tooru snorted. “You put it on the stroller and the child can stand on it when he gets older, like a skateboard without all the falling over and being far away. I thought it'd be good if we needed to babysit another kid or when he gets older.”

Hajime smiled. He leaned back so he could look Tooru in the eyes. “See? We have everything, we’ve planned for this, we got this.”

“We don't got one of those.” Tooru said and nodded towards the cardboard cutout.

“And thank god for that. It's terrifying.”

Tooru laughed and it sounded a little wet. “Thank you, Hajime.” He gave his husband a quick peck on the lips before disentangling himself from him. PDA wasn't entirely risk free and they'd been tempting fate long enough already. He felt cold without Hajime’s arms around him.

Hajime took Tooru’s hand in his. If someone said anything he'd deal with it then. “I love you.”

Tooru smiled wide. “I love you too. And our son, god I know he's not officially ours yet but I just… I love him so much. I love this. I'm scared but I'm so so happy.” He turned towards Hajime, his eyes were sparkling through the remains of unshed tears. “I'm so happy we’re starting a family.”

Hajime smiled back at him. “I'm happy too.”

 

Later that night as they lay in bed neither could fall asleep. Nerves and giddiness making them both feel warm and content yet unable to relax. Tooru turned towards Hajime, the sheets rustled with his movement.

“What if he really does get tired of space.” He whispered. “Oh god Hajime I don't think I could handle that.”

Hajime chuckled. “He's your son, he won't get tired of space. Although, maybe in his rebellious phase.”

Tooru groaned. “Don't remind me that's a thing! What if he gets piercings, or tattoos!”

“I'm sure he'd look great. We just have to make sure he's safe and not doing it in some back alley or something.”

“Wait seriously? You'd be fine if he got piercings and tattoos?”

“If he's old enough, sure. I mean if he came home when he was like seven and suddenly had a tattoo that wouldn't be great but if he's, I don't know, twenty four? Then sure.” He shrugged a little awkwardly as he lay on his side, facing Tooru.

Tooru seemed to think about what Hajime had said for a few seconds. “Yeah… Yeah as long as he's happy and healthy.” He nodded to himself. Hajime smiled at him.

“We should sleep, if the Internet and every parent we've ever met is right then we won't get a full night's sleep again for quite a while.”

Tooru hummed and yawned. “That's true. Goodnight Hajime.”

“Sleep well Tooru.”

They kissed for just a moment before turning around, Hajime to his back and Tooru on his stomach, and promptly falling asleep.

 

*******

 

_+1. Twenty Nine_

 

The baby in Tooru’s arms stirred a little as they walked through the door to the newly decorated room. “And this, this will be your room once you're old enough to sleep alone. I've already put up stars on the ceiling so you won't feel alone.” He said as he walked around the room and lightly bounced his son in his arms.

Kou - as they decided to name him - just kept sleeping in his papa’s arms.

“I can't believe this is actually happening.” Tooru whispered as he walked towards Hajime who wrapped his arms around the two of them. “He's so beautiful.”

“He is.” Hajime looked at Kou and sighed in happiness. “He gets it from you.”

“He doesn't really get anything from me?” Tooru said, confused. They'd adopted Kou from a very young girl who hadn't felt ready to have a child herself. Who the biological father was wasn't established.

“Sure he does. He's clingy and cries a lot but when it really matters, like now - coming home for the first time - he's calm as ever. Being strong for us, I think.”

Tooth laughed quietly. “That doesn't make any sense, he's way too young for you to possibly know that.”

“But you agree though, right?”

Tooth kissed Kou’s head and smiled. “‘Course. He's amazing.”

“He really, really is.”

“I'm so so happy,” Tooru sighed.

“Me too. I'm so unbelievably happy too.” Hajime responding as he squeezed his son and husband a little closer to his chest. Kou moved his small chubby fingers, his dads taking it as agreement and smiling wider down at him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The last part is kinda crap? I'm sorry. Idk it was just a lot harder to write than the other parts. Honestly the first four parts I wrote in one sitting and then the last two took me almost two weeks. Inspiration sure helps when writing lmao, oh well I hope it was still OK and didn't completely ruin it 
> 
> Now I have to go study so I can pretend to be Karl Marx for two hours on Monday and I also need to do almost grown up things like reschedule dentist appointments... which I should have already done but instead I wrote this. Priorities ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> As always kudos and comments are super appreciated ❁


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